Of course, the only person this hurt was me.
client who owed me money never felt my pain. I have no idea if he felt
anything at all. So my holding a grudge kept only one person down: me.
As I began to read self-help books, I began to realize that I could let
go of my resentment. I could forgive my client. I could forgive myself.
I did just that. And -- you probably guessed it --my client surfaced
and paid me the money he owed me. But I didn't forgive in order to
collect the money. I forgave and forgot and let it go. But let's look
at this more closely so you understand forgiveness and the power of it
as a clearing method.
following is an excerpt from the book The
Key by Joe Vitale
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc.; October 2007
Please Forgive Me
Don't ask yourself what the world needs. Ask yourself what makes you
come alive and then go do that. Because what the world needs is people
who have come alive. --Howard Thurman
If you feel stuck in any area of your life, if you're not attracting
the car, house, job, mate, or anything else you really want, it could
very well be due to a lack of forgiveness. Maybe you didn't forgive the
other person. Maybe you didn't forgive yourself. It doesn't matter.
Holding on to past emotions, memories, or stories is guaranteed to tie
up your energy and block your ability to attract what you want. What
you have to do now is forgive. I used to struggle with this one. I was
afraid that if I forgave someone, I would not learn the lesson they
gave me and I would be suckered again. But as I looked at that belief,
I realized it was just that: a belief. It wasn't reality. It wasn't
factual. It wasn't true. I remember when a client owed me a great deal
of money. He wasn't paying, and it was clear he was going to rob me of
what was due to me. In those days my mind-set was still that of a
victim. I thought my client, and much of the world, was out to get me.
I had read so many books about robber barons in history, and about
survival of the fittest, that I felt unless I became greedy and
cutthroat in business, I'd always fail. However, I refused to become
something I didn't like. I refused to become one of "them." So I lived
with my pain and resentment.
Forgiving another person is, in part, an ego trip. When you say "I
forgive you" to someone, you are saying you had some sort of hold over
them. You were the King or Queen, and by the "I forgive you" decree you
could pronounce them "free" of your resentment. That's not forgiveness.
It may even be a form of manipulation. What's more powerful is to say
"I'm sorry" to the people you hurt. If you've never seen the television
show My Name Is Earl, watch it sometime. It's about a petty thief who
awakens to the idea that if he does good things, good things happen. He
makes a list of everyone he ever hurt in his life. He then works to do
something to erase his wrong. A couple of decades ago I did something
similar. I made a list of people I felt I had hurt. I then went to them
and paid them money if I owed it, returned tools or objects if I had
walked off with them, and told them I was sorry for my behavior. I did
my best to make peace with my past. It was a wonderful feeling.
I also know there is a level of forgiveness beyond being forgiven by
others or forgiving others. The forgiveness that becomes one of the
most powerful clearing methods you can use in an instant is the one
where you forgive yourself. It's your perception of a situation or
person that is an error. It's not the other person. Yes, they may have
done something you prefer they hadn't done. But it's your judgment of
them that causes the friction. When you let go of your judgment, you
free yourself. And often, when you free yourself, the other person does
what you wanted all along. But your motivation has to come from
forgiveness of you.
Copyright 2008 by Hypnotic Marketing, Inc. All rights reserved.
Author Joe Vitale is President of Hypnotic Marketing, Inc., an Internet
marketing consulting firm, and one of the stars of the hit movie, The
Secret. He has been called "The Buddha of the Internet" for his
combination of spirituality and marketing acumen. His other books
include The Attractor Factor,
Zero Limits, and Life's Missing Instruction Manual,
all from Wiley. For more information on Joe Vitale, visit www.MrFire.com.